comfort zone


IMG_1491Youth Is Wasted on the Young

If you could turn back the hands of time and go back to when you were 19 years old, would you? Consider that same scenario, going back to being 19, but not being able to take back with you all of the knowledge that you have gained today? Would you still do it?

It’s amazing how a shift in perspective changes things, or maybe it doesn’t.

My, my, my how introspective we get when a birthday nears. I am not unlike many folks who find themselves reflecting on the culmination of life choices they have made to date right around their birthday. What milestones have we met? What does the future hold? We may even be prompted to get a physical, or even a psychological tune up.

What brought this topic to the foreground of my memory is because just the other day I remembered being out with my grandmother many years ago. While we were shopping she looked over at some total stranger who was behaving badly shook her head in disgust saying, “youth is wasted on the young.” At the time I didn’t fully grasp what it is she was saying, but boy do I get it now.

What my grandmother’s wisdom revealed was a universal truth; by the time we have gained wisdom, knowledge and understanding to make intelligent decisions we are much older. When we age we slow down and lack the youthful vigor and idealism that typically accompanies moving the mountains in our lives. When we were young and had energy to spare we tended to waste it on things that we now know were foolish and meaningless.

When you’re young you often lack good common sense. When you are old you finally gain that common sense, along with a sore back, shortness of breath, the ability to sleep while standing up and a bunch of wrinkles.

Today there is a cottage industry that preys on people’s desire to look young again. They tell you that they can turn back the hands of time, for a price. But what they’re selling people is, in itself, a deception because they’re not selling youth. They’re selling the appearance of youth, and that’s something entirely different than youth itself.

In the end, in our western society where youth is seen as an invaluable asset, happiness, that ever so fleeting intangible, is what’s really being offered. The problem with happiness is very simple: it’s something that first has to come from within.

So as I hit the gym to squat, lunge and tone myself back into the long legged siren of my youth(Ha) I’m secure in the fact that I’m not there to waste my time trying to get something back that wasn’t there in the first place, I’m good as is.

The Journey: Sometimes falling is necessary


The roadmap of my life has a lot of unincorporated areas where nothing is mapped out yet. Just this past week I was forced to make a detour and I wound up at the proverbial fork in the road…..I’m wondering if I should use a checklist, call my pastor, my mother, Ghostbusters, anyone who can help. There are, as always, my instincts, which are readily available (and at times, unreliable).
Since I’m “Escaping From My Comfort Zone” I can’t possibly do what I’ve done in the past. I’ve got to be bold, take risks and step out on faith. I must make firm decisions and not “go with the flow” following along with people in my life who I’ve allowed to set the agenda for me.
I started writing this blog three weeks ago, stepped away from it because I was so incredibly conflicted about what to do and regrettably, had a setback. I oozed into my quasi-comfort zone and it was an utter and complete disaster. From the moment I ventured into it, I was unhappy, disappointed, regretful and uninspired.
Now I’m shoveling manure all around me trying to dig myself out of this hellhole.
Have you ever had a setback? Have you ever been in a situation where you made a decision that you wished you hadn’t?
The reasons that we make decisions that we are soon to regret is because our comfort zone has the ability to reshape itself. It’s like an ever expanding cape that becomes the size that it needs to become in order to try and cover the growing fear that we often manifest.
That is what happened to me. My fear grew larger than I had anticipated and, as a result, I darted back down one of the dark side streets of short sightedness.
I stumbled.
But, brushing myself off, I arose again. And, just like the mythical Phoenix rising from the ashes, I overcame and now I’m so excited that….in my next blog I’ll tell you why.

I Want to Be as Uncomfortable as Possible, For Now…

I once heard a wise man say, “Dissatisfaction brings about change.” How right he was. Problem was although I heard him I was too young and dumb to listen. So I went about my life making seemingly comfy and cozy decisions that only concluded with extremely undesirable and uncomfortable fallout. Many life decisions made on auto-pilot, just going with the flow, following the status quo, taking the path of least resistance. So fast forward to me now, a forty six year old mother of four, so full of wisdom, knowledge and understanding…and full of sh-t. (That word is certainly cringeworthy!) I say that because up until recently, and I mean within the last 6 months did I truly fully dissect my existence and examine it like one of the most gigantic, complicated, complex jigsaw puzzles- the kind that you leave in the box for a long time or place on a coffee table and work on for months to years, a few pieces at a time. Its been a grueling, painful, funny, embarrassing, ridiculous, unbelievable journey. Damn, journey sounds so cliche, but I do believe I’m a traveler and along the way I meet people, see places and experience things that edify me, challenge me, change me forever, until its all over. Why am I on this site literally pouring out myself to virtual strangers? Because I have to. I need you, whoever you are- to hear my voice… I just found it.