courage

YOUTH IS WASTED ON THE YOUNG

IMG_1491Youth Is Wasted on the Young

If you could turn back the hands of time and go back to when you were 19 years old, would you? Consider that same scenario, going back to being 19, but not being able to take back with you all of the knowledge that you have gained today? Would you still do it?

It’s amazing how a shift in perspective changes things, or maybe it doesn’t.

My, my, my how introspective we get when a birthday nears. I am not unlike many folks who find themselves reflecting on the culmination of life choices they have made to date right around their birthday. What milestones have we met? What does the future hold? We may even be prompted to get a physical, or even a psychological tune up.

What brought this topic to the foreground of my memory is because just the other day I remembered being out with my grandmother many years ago. While we were shopping she looked over at some total stranger who was behaving badly shook her head in disgust saying, “youth is wasted on the young.” At the time I didn’t fully grasp what it is she was saying, but boy do I get it now.

What my grandmother’s wisdom revealed was a universal truth; by the time we have gained wisdom, knowledge and understanding to make intelligent decisions we are much older. When we age we slow down and lack the youthful vigor and idealism that typically accompanies moving the mountains in our lives. When we were young and had energy to spare we tended to waste it on things that we now know were foolish and meaningless.

When you’re young you often lack good common sense. When you are old you finally gain that common sense, along with a sore back, shortness of breath, the ability to sleep while standing up and a bunch of wrinkles.

Today there is a cottage industry that preys on people’s desire to look young again. They tell you that they can turn back the hands of time, for a price. But what they’re selling people is, in itself, a deception because they’re not selling youth. They’re selling the appearance of youth, and that’s something entirely different than youth itself.

In the end, in our western society where youth is seen as an invaluable asset, happiness, that ever so fleeting intangible, is what’s really being offered. The problem with happiness is very simple: it’s something that first has to come from within.

So as I hit the gym to squat, lunge and tone myself back into the long legged siren of my youth(Ha) I’m secure in the fact that I’m not there to waste my time trying to get something back that wasn’t there in the first place, I’m good as is.

Do You Believe or KNOW You Can Do It?

Go to WordPress to read my full blog for this week-Here it is: All of the stories you are about to read are real. None of them have been altered or enhanced because reality, in this case, is much greater and far funnier than fiction. I have changed some of the names to protect the identities of the foolish, the lame, the weak, the brave, the strong and the downright sorry. The only name that I haven’t changed is mine.

I hope you enjoy.

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The above text is another snippet from my unpublished book. When I reflect on my previous posts here on WordPress and how I woke up one day; a day that I thought would be like any other day a did something different, I am filled with joy and validation. One simple act, that has redirected my course.  Something inside of me prompted me  to write the blog “Escape From Your Comfort Zone”.  I thought about the amount of vulnerability one must possess to expose themselves to the world, so to speak.  Various thoughts germinated in my mind, like “No one knows me, why will they care about my story?” and “You’re not saying anything that everyone hasn’t already heard before.”  One might also ask why I would feel validated when it was just 1 blog. I mean, there are tons of people out there blogging about everything from their children to cats to reality stars. (And many have rather large followings) By the way, I am on my way to having a large following. I say that with boldness because I know that I am capable. I have underutilized and undervalued most of my talent and strengths, until now. It isn’t necessary for a large following in order to establish credibility-although this society does base legitimacy on such notions. Simply put- I have created personal and professional goals for myself and a sizable audience happens to be one of them. Either one of two things happens when a bold decision is made, you allow chatter in your mind to talk you out of your decision and you retreat or you build confidence. I want my story (the flattering, the painful, the cowardly and courageous, the outrageously funny, the inspirational, the larger than life) to be heard by many, so that in some way it will help others to take their rightful place in the sunshine. It feels good out here. It’s my turn and I’m taking it.

No More Hiding

You can only be a relationship chameleon for so long before you hit the proverbial burnout wall.

-excerpt from my new book that I’ve finally found the courage to share and soon have published

Have you ever seen a toddler dragging around a baby doll? I mean, they adore their little raggedy, dirty, grungy ragdoll and have convinced their parents to allow them to take it with them everywhere they go. It gets cleaned up occasionally but for the most part it is a voiceless, defenseless thing and just travels along for the ride.

Have you ever felt like an inanimate object in a relationship? Whether it is a friendship or romantic union, have you been the ragdoll who gives up power, rolls over and complies with your partner’s whims, demands and rules?

There is always an expiration date on these scenarios, because no one can be untrue to themselves forever. When you suppress your voice, you actually can’t even be angry with your partner, your outrage should be directed towards yourself because while the other person was imposing their will on you- you never spoke up (expressed your opinion, weighed in on the topic or just flat out said, “No!”) Let’s face it; the only reason you’re here is because you’re afraid. You’re afraid that your opinion doesn’t count or doesn’t matter.

I’m living proof that sharing my opinion in a relationship actually gets me what I want. If you replace faith with fear, you can do anything-even find your voice. Can you hear me?Image

Up, Up But Not Too Far Away

Up Up but Not Too Far Away?

Have you been Hot Air Ballooning? Or would you prefer to keep your feet firmly planted on the ground. Where it’s safe…or is it?

I’ve been exploring what it takes to break free of the mental encumbrances that prevent us from being our very best. The barriers that keep us from taking risks, from facing adversity, from leaving bad things behind, from ending toxic relationships, or just walking away and hitting the reset button.

Hot air ballooning is a grand experience. I realize it’s not for everyone, but I’d like to use it as a metaphor for risk taking.

We arrived at about 6:00am to a meeting spot and then were driven to the launching site. As we rode over, I was so eager with anticipation that I could hardly contain myself. I knew we’d be doing an outdoor activity but the actual activity itself was kept a secret by my beau until we arrived at the meeting spot. Having you ever smiled so hard that your cheek muscles ached?

We pulled up to three shockingly vibrant, partially inflated balloons that were lying on a huge lot. I don’t recall the door being opened for me- I just rushed towards one of the balloons like a five year old on Christmas morning. The best part (aside from floating 4,00 feet above ground) was when the captain allowed us to walk inside of the balloon prior to fully inflating it.

After that treat, we were instructed to exit the balloon, given safety instructions and soon the true magic began as they finished inflating the it right before our eyes. We hopped inside the basket and then 1, 2, 3, we rose in such a way that I didn’t realize we had left the ground. Either we were with one of the most experienced captains in history or hot air balloon flights are just plain and simple … ballooning is smooth.

As we rose higher and higher, I filled my nostrils with the air because I felt like it was purer, fresher, better in some way. I savored every second of my time up there.

Momentarily, my perspective shifted. I vividly recall looking down at houses, swimming pools, grassy yards, people waving up to us and it was like seeing those objects and structures for the first time, when in reality I saw them every day.

Do you have the courage to change your perspective? Most people need motivation to demonstrate courage, others are hard-wired with a courageous heart and spirit.

I’m on a mission to change my perspective, expand my horizons and evolve. To literally and figuratively …go higher and higher, up, up and away.

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Have You Escaped From Your Comfort Zone Yet?

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Get me outta here! As I was feverishly, yet securely being snapped into a worn, leathery/canvass-like harness in the lush hillside of the Dominican Republic by some local natives, I was thinking, “Yikes, I am frickin terrified”, while simultaneously saying, “This is so incredibly amazing!” I was firmly thrust from the narrow raised wooden perch clipped to a thick wire, I then quickly acknowledged to myself that the extreme oppositional emotions I was experiencing were actually coming from the same place. I nearly crashed into the platform upon my first landing. Hey, I just needed a practice run to get the hang of it!  I proceeded to zipline through a total of 11 lines, having one of the most memorable and thrilling days of my entire life. The motivation that led to the outcome was the payoff! There was something inside of me that assured me that ziplining would be a phenomenal experience, one I would regret missing. And although fear was present, I wasn’t overtaken by it, thus I overcame it!

Thrilling doesn’t begin to describe my experience, but back to the fear. Let’s explore that for a moment. Sometimes we find it comforting to remain in a lull, a place of predictability and sameness. Kinda like a perpetual womb. THE most secure place we’ll ever know in our entire lives. But, even from the womb, we are thrust out when the time comes. That natural cue from the universe is that we should spend our lives progressing, improving and evolving by continuously thrusting ourselves forward.

What are you doing to exit the womb? How are you challenging yourself to prosper and progress? What are you comfortable with, but can do without to be more successful, more at peace? Look up comfortable and complacent in the dictionary and be sure you know and understand the difference. Don’t be so comfortable and stagnant, that you are numb to the idea of change.

Get out on that platform, by yourself and go.

Until next time.

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