You can only be a relationship chameleon for so long before you hit the proverbial burnout wall.
-excerpt from my new book that I’ve finally found the courage to share and soon have published
Have you ever seen a toddler dragging around a baby doll? I mean, they adore their little raggedy, dirty, grungy ragdoll and have convinced their parents to allow them to take it with them everywhere they go. It gets cleaned up occasionally but for the most part it is a voiceless, defenseless thing and just travels along for the ride.
Have you ever felt like an inanimate object in a relationship? Whether it is a friendship or romantic union, have you been the ragdoll who gives up power, rolls over and complies with your partner’s whims, demands and rules?
There is always an expiration date on these scenarios, because no one can be untrue to themselves forever. When you suppress your voice, you actually can’t even be angry with your partner, your outrage should be directed towards yourself because while the other person was imposing their will on you- you never spoke up (expressed your opinion, weighed in on the topic or just flat out said, “No!”) Let’s face it; the only reason you’re here is because you’re afraid. You’re afraid that your opinion doesn’t count or doesn’t matter.
I’m living proof that sharing my opinion in a relationship actually gets me what I want. If you replace faith with fear, you can do anything-even find your voice. Can you hear me?
I once heard a wise man say, “Dissatisfaction brings about change.” How right he was. Problem was although I heard him I was too young and dumb to listen. So I went about my life making seemingly comfy and cozy decisions that only concluded with extremely undesirable and uncomfortable fallout. Many life decisions made on auto-pilot, just going with the flow, following the status quo, taking the path of least resistance. So fast forward to me now, a forty six year old mother of four, so full of wisdom, knowledge and understanding…and full of sh-t. (That word is certainly cringeworthy!) I say that because up until recently, and I mean within the last 6 months did I truly fully dissect my existence and examine it like one of the most gigantic, complicated, complex jigsaw puzzles- the kind that you leave in the box for a long time or place on a coffee table and work on for months to years, a few pieces at a time. Its been a grueling, painful, funny, embarrassing, ridiculous, unbelievable journey. Damn, journey sounds so cliche, but I do believe I’m a traveler and along the way I meet people, see places and experience things that edify me, challenge me, change me forever, until its all over. Why am I on this site literally pouring out myself to virtual strangers? Because I have to. I need you, whoever you are- to hear my voice… I just found it.