You can only be a relationship chameleon for so long before you hit the proverbial burnout wall.
-excerpt from my new book that I’ve finally found the courage to share and soon have published
Have you ever seen a toddler dragging around a baby doll? I mean, they adore their little raggedy, dirty, grungy ragdoll and have convinced their parents to allow them to take it with them everywhere they go. It gets cleaned up occasionally but for the most part it is a voiceless, defenseless thing and just travels along for the ride.
Have you ever felt like an inanimate object in a relationship? Whether it is a friendship or romantic union, have you been the ragdoll who gives up power, rolls over and complies with your partner’s whims, demands and rules?
There is always an expiration date on these scenarios, because no one can be untrue to themselves forever. When you suppress your voice, you actually can’t even be angry with your partner, your outrage should be directed towards yourself because while the other person was imposing their will on you- you never spoke up (expressed your opinion, weighed in on the topic or just flat out said, “No!”) Let’s face it; the only reason you’re here is because you’re afraid. You’re afraid that your opinion doesn’t count or doesn’t matter.
I’m living proof that sharing my opinion in a relationship actually gets me what I want. If you replace faith with fear, you can do anything-even find your voice. Can you hear me?
Get me outta here! As I was feverishly, yet securely being snapped into a worn, leathery/canvass-like harness in the lush hillside of the Dominican Republic by some local natives, I was thinking, “Yikes, I am frickin terrified”, while simultaneously saying, “This is so incredibly amazing!” I was firmly thrust from the narrow raised wooden perch clipped to a thick wire, I then quickly acknowledged to myself that the extreme oppositional emotions I was experiencing were actually coming from the same place. I nearly crashed into the platform upon my first landing. Hey, I just needed a practice run to get the hang of it! I proceeded to zipline through a total of 11 lines, having one of the most memorable and thrilling days of my entire life. The motivation that led to the outcome was the payoff! There was something inside of me that assured me that ziplining would be a phenomenal experience, one I would regret missing. And although fear was present, I wasn’t overtaken by it, thus I overcame it!
Thrilling doesn’t begin to describe my experience, but back to the fear. Let’s explore that for a moment. Sometimes we find it comforting to remain in a lull, a place of predictability and sameness. Kinda like a perpetual womb. THE most secure place we’ll ever know in our entire lives. But, even from the womb, we are thrust out when the time comes. That natural cue from the universe is that we should spend our lives progressing, improving and evolving by continuously thrusting ourselves forward.
What are you doing to exit the womb? How are you challenging yourself to prosper and progress? What are you comfortable with, but can do without to be more successful, more at peace? Look up comfortable and complacent in the dictionary and be sure you know and understand the difference. Don’t be so comfortable and stagnant, that you are numb to the idea of change.
Get out on that platform, by yourself and go.
Until next time.